gaaowalo (village fellows).. welcome! Welcome to the land where no one speaks cos everyone recites a poem. Welcome to the land where a basti which may have no water to drink, but has a fully functional fire hydrant.. welcome to the land where the hero and the villain live after repeated knife jabs and sucker punches, but the villains pappa dies after falling from a flight of 5 stairs... welcome!
Now that you are here, lets go over some of the characters of this film.
Dhinanath Chauhan: I bet all of you have at least one friend who acts like a bloody know-it-all , our man DC is not only a know it all, but also has a mind blowing moral compass and is a killer poet. He has some scumbag idea for everything that goes wrong from how to fix an angry son to how to stop a dangerous man from occupying his village. Luckily, he dies within 30 minutes after the start, 2 stars for that! -1 star for bringing him back in flashbacks.
Vijay Dhinanath Chauhan: Unlike his dad, this guy talks less but is a total bufoon. His personality is beautifully summed up by the fact that he plants bombs to kill the villain's accomplices, but forgets to take a gun to kill the villain himself! He now has to kill the villain with his nange haath(naked hands), which could have been really hard, but Kancha (see next) believes in fair play and unlike his dufus assistants, does not carry a gun himself (he may have some ethical concerns). 5 stars for some neat action sequences, -10 for thinking his dad was cool
Kancha: Kancha is a lovable character who is a mix of Shrek and Voldermort. So Kancha always wanted to be a drug lord, but his secret desire is to become a better poet than DC. 20 stars for a killer performance, -3 for not having this song dedicated to Kancha.
Rauf Lala (alias Alif Laila): He is the drug selling, women trafficking Gangsta who can shake a leg and sing a song! He delivers the bestest dialog in the movie when he asks his son not to dope during business hours, on other times, of course, he can do Cocaine, Heroine or whatever he desires... way to go daddy!
Maa: Total weirdo I tell you! She apparently does not know how to show love, I think the bigger problem is she does not have a role! Who cares?
Kali: -100 stars for killing the pretty lady. Burn in hell Karan Johar!!
Chikni Chameli: My impression of the gorgeous Ms Kaif has been shattered for life. What disappointment!
Now that we all are introduced, let's come to (supposedly) the most important aspect of any movie.. the plot
Dad dies, son wants revenge, mom hates son for wanting revenge, girl friend knows boy friend may die seeking revenge but does not mind, boy kills villain (Surprised?). I honestly don't care about the plot, that's not why you watch masala flicks.
All in all, even if you are able to forget all the Bollywood absurdities, this movie bloody tires you,. How I wish there were not as many songs! The background score is very catchy but the poetry is rubbish. It does not help that the movie goes on and on and on. I am just Susth-ified! Bring on the Red Bull..
Now that you are here, lets go over some of the characters of this film.
Dhinanath Chauhan: I bet all of you have at least one friend who acts like a bloody know-it-all , our man DC is not only a know it all, but also has a mind blowing moral compass and is a killer poet. He has some scumbag idea for everything that goes wrong from how to fix an angry son to how to stop a dangerous man from occupying his village. Luckily, he dies within 30 minutes after the start, 2 stars for that! -1 star for bringing him back in flashbacks.
Vijay Dhinanath Chauhan: Unlike his dad, this guy talks less but is a total bufoon. His personality is beautifully summed up by the fact that he plants bombs to kill the villain's accomplices, but forgets to take a gun to kill the villain himself! He now has to kill the villain with his nange haath(naked hands), which could have been really hard, but Kancha (see next) believes in fair play and unlike his dufus assistants, does not carry a gun himself (he may have some ethical concerns). 5 stars for some neat action sequences, -10 for thinking his dad was cool
Kancha: Kancha is a lovable character who is a mix of Shrek and Voldermort. So Kancha always wanted to be a drug lord, but his secret desire is to become a better poet than DC. 20 stars for a killer performance, -3 for not having this song dedicated to Kancha.
Rauf Lala (alias Alif Laila): He is the drug selling, women trafficking Gangsta who can shake a leg and sing a song! He delivers the bestest dialog in the movie when he asks his son not to dope during business hours, on other times, of course, he can do Cocaine, Heroine or whatever he desires... way to go daddy!
Maa: Total weirdo I tell you! She apparently does not know how to show love, I think the bigger problem is she does not have a role! Who cares?
Kali: -100 stars for killing the pretty lady. Burn in hell Karan Johar!!
Chikni Chameli: My impression of the gorgeous Ms Kaif has been shattered for life. What disappointment!
Now that we all are introduced, let's come to (supposedly) the most important aspect of any movie.. the plot
Dad dies, son wants revenge, mom hates son for wanting revenge, girl friend knows boy friend may die seeking revenge but does not mind, boy kills villain (Surprised?). I honestly don't care about the plot, that's not why you watch masala flicks.
All in all, even if you are able to forget all the Bollywood absurdities, this movie bloody tires you,. How I wish there were not as many songs! The background score is very catchy but the poetry is rubbish. It does not help that the movie goes on and on and on. I am just Susth-ified! Bring on the Red Bull..
2 comments:
LOL for the song!!
I know right? seemed logical to remix that song and put it off..
Post a Comment